Arrived Monday at 11am, just 2 short hours after Patrick and Andrew left. They both greeted me warmly. Didn't read the "blue book" for 3 hours till Dad said, "Are you going to read the book?" I said, i will. He said, "You have to read the book, you'll find out how to take care of us!" I told him "I will!". I reminded him that I was the rebel of the family and that if he wanted to do anything outside this book, go for it! At that time, he said "Read the book. You need to know what to do to take care of Mother." So, I read the book, and found most everything on paper was already conversed to me on phone! But, it made Dad happy!
Let's see....Monday - what did I do (it's 7 days later right now....!)? Reheated Rondah's pizza for dinner, helped Mom with here exercises (Pat, you're right, her 2 second count is really 1 second!), walked the deck with her, unpacked, pretty much took it easy Monday. Oh, forgot - I broke the kitchen sink spricket! Dad's comment: "Goddammit, why does every person who comes here break something?" Also found that (although they can't hear fire detector battery beeps, they CAN hear cell phone beeps! Dad got angry because my cell phone beeped ONCE! I learned at that moment to turn off cell phone - put it on vibrate or on complete silence.
Tuesday, 7/3 - woke for breakfast at 7:30am (every morning). Mom pretty much had everything ready. NO TALKING DURING BREAKFAST! They have to listen to their FOX news at 8am. Did breakfast dishs and laundry before noon. Laundry was so funny! Had to toss all clothes down the stairs, then separate into 3 piles. Mom had to SHOUT the "stains" out of their whites! Picture that! Too funny! While loads of laundry are running, we stay downstairs and read books! Mom sits on the couch with Grandma's red/blue blanket on her lap - it's her "comfort" blanket, she's comforted by it knowing Grandma is there with her! Wow - was taken aback by that! Was so glad to hear she keeps her Mother close by!
Went with Dad shopping - he drove. He's good, but has little (or shoudl I say NO) patience! Marciah - if you drive with him - accept the fact that he feels NO ONE should be on the road with him. It's everyone elses fault for being on the road! He owns it!
While in the basement, heard mice clipping along on the dropped ceiling in Dad's den. Didn't know what it was at first, but when I found out Andrew heard them, I confirmed same! No need to worry - they won't sneak down!
Lunch prep ALWAYS begins at 11:30, eat at Noon. No change to that!
Went to PT at 1pm, met Melody - great gal! Mom loves to gab at PT! And Melody is extremely patient with her! Mom needs to STOP TWISTING at the waist. Marciah - if you're getting anything out of this, STOP her from twisting at the waist. The screws aren't solidified in the bone yet. Mom also needs to stand straight on the walker (tends to lean), but is getting better! She also needs to start learning the sticks. She's reminded me that surgery was just 18 days ago and that she's to be on the walker for a long period of time, but she's healing excellently! She should stay on the walker, BUT, start practicing with the sticks more! She used them on the stairs twice - did well, but she doesn't have a comfort level yet. Dad wants her to drop the walker and get with the sticks, but he's not the one who's losing his balance....so we need to gently coax her to practice more with the sticks.
Took Mom to Sevierville on Tuesday - wanted to get her out of the house. She like that. She enjoyed the drive, the normalcy of being out. IF you take her out, take a pillow to put behind her back so her incision isn't rubbing the back of the car seat.
Lost track of where I am.....don't have a book to remind me what I did, but did write it in the blue book!
Mom had friends come visit on Wednesday: Elizabeth, Mildred and Roy. Roy wanted to visit with Dad, took a lot to get Dad upstairs, but once he did, he was a pefect gentleman. Mom so enjoyed the visit - had me go out and buy a cheesecake for the little gathering.
Thursday was another day at PT. She really is doing well.
Cooking: Mom is great at telling you what to do and where to go to get things! You may turn your back and roll your eyes, but you gotta give her credit - she knows exactly where things are and how to do it! You'll even learn from her! They save everything, too!
All in all - they are doing well. Although there were 2 days Mom took tranquelizers: the day her friends came, and the day I left. The day I left, she told me Dad has absolutely NO idea on how to pay bills. If anything happened to her, the bills would NOT get paid. I asked her to put her accountant in charge, she said no. I told her to give the responsibility to one of the kids to pay everything on-line. Even bank on line. What we finally came up with is she's putting a list together of all bills she pays: cable, water, heat, phone, grass cutters, doctors, etc (about 15 names) and will list account numbers, phone numbers, city/state. I don't know who will get this, but I started it for her the day I left. I don't understand why that came up, but it is concerning her. Sheilah - maybe you can take the lead here and ask Mom if she's started working on the "steno book" Norah started up to list all her bill-paying accounts.
I changed Mom's bandages twice - and BOTH times each bandage was clean! No spotting, no seepage - perfectly clean! It relieved her to no end!!!
Mom HAS been gaining weight! She loves yogart, smoothies, milk. She gained 3 pounds the week I was there. i left 2 smoothies for her after I left. One for Mike and one for Marciah.
Oh, I checked with Food City and called PeaPod. PeaPod does not have any affiliations in TN. Food City doesn't have a delivery service, and I asked PT Melody if there is any service where food delivery is offered. She said nothing in Gatlinburg (so if anyone wants to set up a business, here's an opportunity!).
I checked their shower - Mom showered by herself. Dad came in and washed her back. Their shower is very small, and is rounded. No straight walls, all walls have curves. There ARE two soap dishes in the wall that they hold onto for support. I held on to them as well to ensure it's a good hand support - only problem is that there is NO lip to the soap dishes, it's just a knotch in the wall (for soap), but nothing to prevent them from slipping. It's an "L" shap knotch, but without a lip, their fingers can slip from it. However, it IS bettehr than nothing.
Dad brought up a good point about the stair lifts - it comes out 14" from the side of the wall - that's 14" taken away from them coming up the stairs. He doesn't like that. I don't know if the lift is necessary. Sure, it's a great idea for the purpose it's meant for, but they both use the stair rails to pull themselves up. Those rails are built very well and are a great support.
The bringing groceries upstairs is the big concern - here's what I told Mom: Hire the maid Olgel's use (a Spanish gal). On the day the maid is there, go shopping. Have the maid bring up the groceries. She's considering. Their hired help stole a knick-knack from Mom's dresser on the one and only day they had her and they stopped the service. Now considering next-door neighbor's (Ogle) maid.
If OJ is to heavy - told them to buy frozen concentrate. Mom said, "hmm, that's an idea".
Mom is getting buy in the kitchen pretty well. You'd be surprised how well she's doing! Marciah - you're the last one there. You need to:
- Ensure she doesn't twist
- Help her with the sticks - not to replace the walker, just to get her comfortable to use them
- Help her lift kitchen items - she shouldn't be lifting and putting excess weight on her back
- Give her encouragement - remind her how well she's doing
- Remind Dad that Mom isn't 100% balanced yet - she needs the walker to keep her balance
- Sweep the deck daily
- Blow the driveway so she can ge in/out of the car
- Walk the stairs with her - be in front when going down, and behind when going up
- Cook or watch her cook
- bring lots of books because there is lots of quiet time
- Ignore Dad's continuous degradation of people - Dad is still Dad - he puts down every person he sees on TV or on the road. Sad, I wish he had more kindness in him.
I was glad to have spent my 5 days with them (Mon thru Sat). I was sad to leave Mom - I think she really enjoyed my company. We had many heart-to-hearts, and I think she had fun! She was able to talk frank with me. It was good time, well spent.
Awesome job, Norah
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